I cannot believe how blessed I am. I am
not sure why I got picked to be so blessed, but I do not want to question it
and I just want to be grateful.
I just got my
heart broken for the first time. It's been a month since he broke up with
me.
Let me tell you a
little bit about him. He is tall, handsome, green eyes, and a perfect smile. He
is kind, humble, smart, independent, respectful, goal oriented, hardworking,
and he gives himself to people. This man is the kind of person that goes all
the way or does not goes at all. He gave me some of the happiest and some of
the saddest moments in my life.
We were together
for 1 year, 7 months, and 14 days. Probable the happiest time of my life. Our
dates ranged from being lazy and staying home to watch movies to flying a plane
together. I think that shows how amazing we were together. I was such an easy
relationship. It was easy to be around him, easy to be myself, easy to be
vulnerable and give him all I've got.
Then, I decided to
follow a dream. An opportunity came my way and I took it. I moved 2,659 miles
away from him. I moved feeling very confident that distance was not going to
affect the amazing relationship we had. I was wrong. From day one the
differences started. We began to argue, which we never did before. I would go
to sleep crying quite often. I would feel mad at him and I would expect actions
from him that I shouldn't have. I tried t change him and I will always regret
that. There was nothing to change, but I was blinded by the negatives and I
lost focus of the positives. So much, that I guess I pushed him away. I hurt
him and that is something I cannot forgive myself for. It was a mutual series
of mistakes. We just could not process the distance and each other's actions
well enough. We misinterpreted each other and we missed the point.
I have no regrets.
There is nothing I can do now, but being grateful because I was blessed with a love
story that I think only a few people get to experience in a lifetime. I cannot
help to smile when I think about him because that is what he is, happiness to
me.
Last night, we
spent hours and hours laughing and reminiscing about our time together. We laughed,
we cried, we talked, and we expressed everything that we had to in order to
move on. It was probably too soon, but we talked about future relationships and
we wished each other luck finding "our special person". Even though I
do not want to ever picture or see him with anyone else, I love him so much
that I really hope he finds what he looks for in a woman and that she
corresponds and values the amazing human being he is.
After talking to him last night, I feel
like I finally got some closure. I know it is going to be a pain in the butt,
but I am ready to move on and keep building an amazing future for myself.
Today I feel positive and hopeful. Today I
am grateful for my life and the amazing experiences I have had and I am ready
for many more.
Bring it on life,
And Mr. Love of my life... you will always hold a very special place in my heart and you will not be charged any rent haha
Always in love,
Fabi
